I woke up anxious today. I’ve pushed back Mila’s 1 year wellness visit twice because I was nervous about what to do about vaccines. For the record, both girls up until this point were (mostly) up to date. We spread out some, delayed others, but I’ve always been fairly pro-vaccine. I saw it as russian roulette either way. Either way your child will die of polio or get autism not matter your choice ammiright? its lose lose.
But the best point anyone’s ever made ever is that you cant undo vaccines once you’ve made that choice. So I decided that until I knew for certain what was right for my girls I am waiting.
But making that choice wasn’t followed by some major sense of relief. NO. Instead I got this horrible nauseating feeling when I knew I’d have to go in to my doctors office, where I love our pediatrician, and tell her that I dont want the shots she gives out to every other child. Which basically makes me an asshole. cause I’m questioning what she is the professional at, saying my children are somehow more important or special than the rest (um duh! of course they are in my eyes) and that I know better, me sitting there with my hand crafted sling and my organic snacks and glass water bottle looking all smug telling them “uh uh NOT MY KID!”….I’m way too much of a people pleaser for that. I have anxiety about not tipping enough or if I answered the phone rude! this was too much.
But I had to do it. And instantly I was SO glad I did. My doctor is awesome, and talked me through each shot, what it does, what research has been done for each one and what concerns she’s read. Gave me a list of resources and told me to educate myself and come back in the 3 months and its fine either way.
AWESOME! I dont know why I expected to be like bullied or pressured into vaccinating? Like she’d be a pushy sales girl paid on commission or something. She was informative. Knew exactly the articles I was referring to and was non-bias.
I feel so much better. I have 3 more months to make a choice I probably should have researched and decided on 6 years ago but I’m not too proud to say “maybe I was wrong before”. We’ll see! tomorrow im posting up the lil mini vaccine project where 4 mom with far more knowledge are gonna give us all their insight on the subject. I cant wait to post it!