I was lurking my dad’s Facebook to see if he’s been on lately, when I saw these seriously picture perfect loaves of bread he had baked. It reminded me of some of the great meals he’s cooked for me. And my grandfather! He could cook! The men in my life (not every guy I dated but the men that raised me and my husband) have always been what I’ve jokingly referred to as “fancy men”.
And I don’t mean to imply they aren’t masculine. They all are. In an old timey, well read, shine your shoes, take your shirts to the dry cleaner, expensive liquors, articulate, clean! and polished men way.
I had posted a photo of Justin, boasting about how helpful he is and how much he cleans and it got reposted a ton of times and like 10,000 people liked it (which is so awesome and flattering and made me feel very special!) but it totally caught me off guard how surprised people were that Justin cleaned. I mean I get it, he helps A LOT. And always has. But some people commented that what I’d written had to be fake. And it isn’t!!
My mother did most of the cleaning but I do have tons of memories of my dad manically scrubbing the kitchen or detailing the car or taking a nail brush to his hands after a day of yard work. I’ve never ever thought of cleaning as a woman thing.
And to be fair the women I lived with growing up were my mom, who manages a construction company and in her spare time was at boxing. And her girlfriend at the time, who was my softball coach and who is a tiler (like she lays tile). And my sister who has almost always had men’s haircuts and only wears men’s clothing. And my moms best friend was around a lot and he is a man who loved arts and crafts and jazzercise! And I learned how to apply my makeup by reading a Kevyn Auccoin book my mom bought me cause she never wore makeup. I was the only one in a house of 4 women who wore anything more than mascara.
In our house hold today, Dad cooks and cleans. And mom cooks and cleans. And mom online shops for shoes, then dad online shops for shoes. The only thing that we do that is because I’m the woman and he’s the man is that I breastfeed and he pees standing up. Other than that we just don’t have gender roles and I never have.
I don’t know that there’s a real point to this other than wondering, did everyone else have a dad who came home and planted himself in front of the tv and watched football while mom cleaned the house in heels? Did that actually exist for people in my generation? Is this anyone’s current reality? No judgement, I didn’t choose to have the adults raise me that did, I’m not entirely against these typical roles. I’m just so curious to everyone else’s situations if anyone’s willing to share…