Easter Eggs.

When it comes to Easter eggs, this year more than any other, I’ve felt the pinterest pressure coming down on me. I’m in awe of the mothers on my instagram who use eggs their own chickens laid. Then making their own organic dyes from coffee and beets? (I meannnn……) Then the other side of the spectrum, I go on my pinterest where I am flooded with these amazing egg craft projects where eggs have been hand stamped and etched and marbled. I even saw egg terrariums. To post up our grocery store eggs with red dye 40 food coloring feels so lame in comparison. Luckily, my charming girls make up for my short comings.
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post baby wardrobe.

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So I got this jacket. Not too sure about it. I think I’d like it more if it were an area rug or baby blanket. Am I the only one having a seriously hard time finding the balance of not wanting to just look like a “mom” while also wanting to look like a mom.Ok that didn’t make sense. What I mean is just that I dont want to lose my personal sense of style. But I also dont like being asked if I’m the baby sitter. Im having the hardest time knowing what to wear. For starters I’m 15lbs heavier then pre-mila. So my old clothes either don’t fit or fit the wrong way. And the other half of my closet is maternity clothes that either are massively huge on me, or make me look like I’m still pregnant. Then add that I need constant easy access to my breasts because Mila nurses on demand and only straight from the source. And that alone is a perfect storm for having “NOTHING TO WEAR!!!”.

But then I also have the identity crisis, age denial factor. Half of me sees myself as this cool, urban mom, with tattoos. ‘My bartender husband and I listen to music you’ve never heard of on vinyl.’ And that’s all fine and dandy until you get to the park and some woman asks “did her family find you through a nanny agency or did you already know them?”.
I want people to know these are my girls. And yes they were planned. And yes I’m married. Not that it’s anyone’s business but unless you’ve been a young-ish mom and had people ask you those ridiculous questions you have no idea how bad it sucks. So I want to fit in. I want to look like all the other moms. But then the Old Navy clothing order arrives. I try it all on and just stand in the mirror and think “how did I let this happen to me”.
I have friends who pull it off. That awesome balance between your pre and post baby lives. Embracing your new mom body the right way by dressing for it not against it. Looking a little subculture, but not like a 16 year old trying to piss off her parents. Like a mom, but not the kind of mom who’s husband is cheating on her with his secretary. But I still haven’t managed to figure it out. So if there is some super secret store out there (forever 29? j.crew for less?) please share.

ooohhh liebster award.

Thank you so much Brittany who writes http://ohmydarlinbaby.wordpress.com for the nomination. I’ll be honest with you that I have no clue what that is or what I’m doing here since I just started blogging a few weeks ago. I dont follow enough bloggers right now to feel confident in nominating other to continue this chain but I’ll gladly give 11 random facts and answer your 11 random question. I’m totally flattered that you thought of me. 🙂

11 random facts about me
1. I gained 100lb my first pregnancy. and 60lbs my second.

2. I at one point owned 100 bottles of butter london nail polish. (to be fair, we got a discount cause Justin and I both worked there)

3. I check the Washington State Health Inspector site for safety violations before eating at a restaurant.

4. I got divorced when I was 22.

5. I don’t have a drivers license. And never plan on getting one. My grandma never drove either. My other grandma died in a car accident when my dad was just a baby.

6. I drink ginger tea almost daily.

7. I quit smoking in November of 2011 and will never ever smoke again.

8. I was “punk as f***” in high school.

9. I was “rockabilly as f***” in my late teens/early 20’s.

10. I got into the Running Start program in high school which allowed me to get college credits early, and I wasted them on art and art history classes. Turns out knowing how to use a kiln doesn’t pay the bills. But at least I can sound smart in an art gallery.

11. I’ve loved Elvis for as long as I can remember. I started sleeping with an Elvis pillow when I was in the 2nd grade.

Random Questions from Brittany

1. What is your favorite song? These Days- Nico

2. Who is the most important person to you? Justin. Lucy and Mila are just theses amazing beings that are my lifes work and I will prepare them to succeed on their own in this world. But Justin is the one I’ve chosen to share every day of my life with.

3. Why do you blog? I’m introverted and awkward. I’m not good at making friend. When I first try and express what I’m thinking it comes out wrong, and sometimes crass. Its easiest for me to share my thoughts from the comfort of my home with an edit option.

4. Zombies or Vampires? Vampires. Cause they are sexier.

5. How do you like your eggs? scrambled, and cooked to death.

6. Do you consider yourself fashionable? Why or why not? When I’m skinny,yes. When I’m curvier I dress more for my body and whats flattering or comfortable not whats trendy or stylish.

7. What actor would play you in a movie of your life? Ginnifer Goodwin

8. What would you like to accomplish before you die? raise two girls who can stand on their own two feet.

9. What beauty product can you not live without? mac foundation brush 187.

10. What is the most expensive thing in your wardrobe? my silk sakura bloom ring sling. haha.

11. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? I’ve never read/seen either.

Thanks dude.

  Been thinking about fathers a lot lately. This past week I know of one little girl who got to met her dad for the first time, I know of 3 boys who lost their father, a father I know posted a photo of himself painting his sons finger nails, Lucy’s biological father is so M.I.A. he forgot her birthday, and I heard from my own father for the first time in a long time. Its all made me think of my own girl’s relationship with Justin.
I’m not about to imply he’s some ideal super dad who like takes the girls on fishing trips or something along those lines. We have our fair share of “Dude!! You can’t give her candy at 9 o’clock at night.” And ” Oh you cant hold the baby with one hand? Seriously dude! It’s call a hip.” But all bickering aside I am continually amazed at how present he is for our girls. He’s thoughtful and takes a genuine interest in Lucy’s interests. He always gets her a surprise when he goes to the store. He says “Hi Mila!” back to her after every time that she goes “Hi Dada” even if she says it 10 times in a row. He makes the little efforts all day to really know his daughters.
Most importantly though he’s respectful to me and we get to show our girls a great example of what love and a healthy relationship should look like. That’s really the greatest gift he can give them. My own mother has a tendency to try and see the good in everyone. And makes excuses for people. She sees the entire story of a person and the life experiences that lead them to be who they are. Its sweet. I know. She has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. But when I took that quality in her and applied it to my own relationships, it back fired. And I made the mistake of making excuses for people who treated me bad. I’m glad Justin is someone who doesn’t require any excuses being made for him. He is a great husband, a great dad and a good person.
When our girls start dating and get into serious relationships, I hope that person treats them as wells as Justin treats us. And god help them if they don’t 😉